A Rainbow

Dear Mom,

Last week I read Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo. It's the story of a little boy who undergoes surgery and has an out-of-body experience where he goes to Heaven. A friend had recommended the book and, being that I've been searching for answers, I felt compelled to read it. The little boy shares his experience with his dad, and the reader learns a little bit about this child's version of Heaven.

One of the most interesting things the little boy saw were rainbows. As I was reading and later, when I had finished, thinking about it all, I made yet another "ultimatum" with God. In my head I said, "I haven't seen a rainbow in a long time. If I see a rainbow tomorrow, I'll know that God exists." The next day Adam, Logan, and I went to Edinburgh to the outlets. We did lots of shopping and were outside quite a bit, but, to be honest, I had forgotten about my ultimatum.

Later that evening, after Logan was put to bed, I was on one of my favorite websites, Pinterest. I was scrolling through the most recently pinned images, and, lo and behold, there was a picture of a rainbow. I instantly stopped and remembered what I had asked for the previous day...



Now, being my normal cynical self, I later started analyzing what I had seen to, again, disprove my faith.
1) That is not actually a picture of a rainbow. It's a moonbow.
2) Does a moonbow image on a computer even count?
3) It could've been just a random coincidence.

And then I realized that I continually try to discount the signs I've been given. The bibs. Logan saying "mom" just days after my mom passed. Now this. How many times will I ask for signs and then ignore them? I guess it's in my nature to question everything. It is hard to really believe in something that I can't see, especially with all the bad in the world. But I began to realize that I have to stop asking if I'm just going to blow it off as a mere coincidence.

I still don't have the answers I'm looking for, and I probably never will, but at least, for that moment, I was comforted knowing that you are still out there and someone is looking out for me here.